Thanks for help escaping from dubious behaviors

Driving down Harrison the other day, I realized that the new lampposts would decrease crime, but not just because criminals despise committing crimes in the light. No, I realized that, should he see the need to visit our fair city, Spider-Man would be well served by the plethora of lampposts to swing from.

It’s just another thing to be thankful for. In preparation for this year’s Thanksgiving, my children and I made a Thankful list of things we are thankful for.

Children are thankful for simple things really. Such as when they are coerced by their father to name at least one blessing in their life, they will be able to name several immediate objects, like pens and paper.

Princesses, on the other hand, were pretty high up on the list, and mentioned without prompting. Looks like another good year for The Little Mermaid and company in our house.

And when it comes down to what we as adults are thankful for, it ends up being pretty simple stuff too. Family. Heat. Food. Water. Food. Shelter. Netflix. Food. We had a lot of food on our list.

I’m thankful for that, after months of opening my driver’s side car door by rolling down the window because of a broken door handle, I got it to work by breaking it even more. What I call “trying to fix it” my wife calls “breaking it” and I’m happy to say that for once it worked both ways.

I’m thankful that we made it through this year so far with only minor accidents and no injuries. For example, I’m thankful that traffic waited patiently for me to remove a kite from a power line and a tree on Pocatello Ave. For the record, don’t give a one-year-old free reign on a large kite extended to its fullest during strong winds. When the said one-year-old lets go, it doesn’t fall down.

I’m thankful for Thad Crump and Brandon Bowen for moving a large rock from beneath my high-centered mini-van. For the record, when turning from Willow Bay Cafe toward the park, be sure to not make a wide turn, especially at sunset. There’s a boulder along the side of the road. Just saying. (If moving the rocks happens to be some sort of a misdemeanor, this column is not a confession, nor would it hold up in a court of law. Just saying.)

I’m thankful for a mother-in-law, who let us sleep at her house even though we were throwing up all night. She doesn’t ever say it, but I think sometimes it’s hard being a grandma, or as she should better be called “substitute parent.” We couldn’t survive without a grandma.

I’m thankful for my wife, who continually points me in the right direction, but lets me think it was my idea in the first place.

And thankful for three naughty children, so at least I have some partners in crime. Just as long as Spider-man doesn’t catch us we’ll be all right.

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