Deodorant only a dog could love

We all know the old saying that a dog is man’s best friend. Now there’s a way to guarantee that adage.

Fresh on the market through a Seattle-based food marketing enterprise comes Power Bacon(TM) deodorant, “for when you sweat like a pig”.

Never mind the fact that pigs actually sweat very little, which is why they wallow in mud most of the day. They have a few sweat glands, but not like us humans.

Still, the concept intrigued this bacon/pork loving human.

For people like myself who seldom use scents to change their smell, generally to be more attractive to the opposite sex, it makes very little sense. My wife likes me just as I smell, I think, at least she’s never said otherwise. And one of my sons, visiting for Thanksgiving, told me he kept thinking he could smell me when I wasn’t around. Then he realized since he’d forgotten his deodorant, he’d used mine and was catching a whiff of that scent.

The bacon scented deodorant makes even less sense to me than other male perfumes because if I were trying to attract someone of the female persuasion, bacon wouldn’t be my scent of choice. All of my male friends might think I smell grand, but to be honest I’m not too concerned about how they think I smell.

Now if they made a deodorant for women that smelled like bacon, they might have something worth considering.

Whether the whole thing is tongue-in-cheek or not, I’m not sure, but they do offer a warning with the purchase. The deodorant is not meant to be eaten, nor should you leave the applied area exposed to sunlight. And hiking in the grizzly bear habitat of Alaska might not be a wise choice.

Speaking of odors, the same company offers another unique edible, the Sriracha Candy Cane.

For those of you not familiar with Sriracha, it is a suddenly very popular spicy condiment that can leave your eyes watering and steam blasting from your ears. Not something you’d normally expect to taste when you slide a Christmas candy cane between your lips.

Unfortunately, after doing a little research I found that a company making the trendy hot sauce is in hot water in the California town where it is produced.

Residents of Irwindale, CA, files suit against the company because of the noxious fumes emanating from the plant. Strong enough, they said, to irritate their eyes and throats.

Those residents complained of headaches and other maladies from the smell created during the crushing of the locally grown jalapeno chili peppers.

A Los Angeles Superior Court Judge agreed with the community, at least to a certain extent, and ordered the company to halt all operations that cause the fiery fumes. He didn’t completely shut down production, so there is still Sriracha out there for those who love to hurt themselves internally, but said he wants the company to mitigate what he considered a public nuisance.

So if you’ve procrastinated and you’re still looking for a last minute gift for that person who has everything, don’t say I didn’t give you options. But if you’re planning on getting me something, a pair of socks, underwear or a nice tie will do just fine.

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