Some dry humor

Boy is it sure dry out there. My kids are lucky; they went sledding twice last winter, and one time there was snow on the ground.

So just how dry is it?

It’s so dry, the eensy weensy spider made it to the roof.

It’s so dry, my kids play in the sprinkler then need a bath to wash the dirt off.

It’s so dry, I just saw two blades of grass submit court filings over water rights.

It’s so dry, the fish had a water fight at their picnic.

It’s so dry, rainbows have traded in their pots of gold for Dasani.

It’s so dry, your spit is gone before it reaches the ground.

It’s so dry, I saw a toadstool on the side of the road, with a tiny sign that said “Hawaii or Bust.”

It’s so dry, the rain doesn’t make it past the tops of the trees.

It’s so dry, our backyard swimming pool now only caters to birds.

It’s so dry, all soups require a fork to eat them.

It’s so dry, that when you go to the store, all the grapes come home as raisins, all the plums come home as prunes, and all the bananas come home as chips.

It’s so dry, boiled spaghetti comes out of the pan as straight as it went in.

It’s so dry, whiskey distills itself.

It’s so dry, a hummingbird tried to suck nectar out of my ear the other day.

And finally…

It’s so dry, if you open a popsicle, all you get is a puff of red powder.

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