Oh, I say. Oh, oh. It is time to stop. It is time to stop with so many easy books.
No, no, say the kids. No, no. We must read more. We will learn to read, yes. We will learn to read this way. We can read this book. This book is good. It has a cat on a mat.
All these books have cats on mats, I say. I do not want a book with a cat on a mat.
Okay, they say. Here is a book. It is good. It is a good book, with no cat and no mat. It has a fish in a pail.
A pail? I ask. We do not use that word. It is an old word. No one uses that word. No one wants a “pail list.”
Then try this book, they say. This book is good. It has a key. They must find the key.
Is it under the mat? I say. Does a cat find the key?
Oh, yes. You read this one, they say. You read this one long ago.
We have read all these. Many, many times. It is good to read books with long words too. Long words do not make me crazy like words that are not long. Long words can make a story be… I cannot say it. I cannot say what long words can do if I must only use words that are not long. Long words are good.
We know! We can read Green Eggs and Ham!
Yes, I say. That is a good book. I like that. I like that book. I have read that one long ago. But it is long. It is very long for a book with not very many words. I have to say them over and over.
Do it! Do it! They say.
So I do it. I read it and read it some more. My head hurts. My eyes are sore. Let us watch T.V. I say.
Yes! They say. Let us do that. We can watch that. We can watch the show with the baby.
Oh no, I say.
This column uses 107 unique words.
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