Babies work the graveyard shift

A note to future parents: don’t have a baby right before Daylight Saving Time begins. You will never sleep again!

Or maybe you should have a baby right before the big change, because a baby does not care what time it is. If they want to be awake in the middle of the night, they will be. Compared to a baby, the daylight saving time change is no big deal.

Unfortunately for parents, the rest of the world cares what time it is. So, two days after getting out of the hospital with our new baby, we hauled her off to the pediatrician in mid-morning, a time liked by doctors, but a time decided by the baby we should all be sleeping. Fortunately daylight savings had not kicked in yet, or we would have never made it.

We sat with our eyes half shut, while the doctor told us to keep our baby home, and not take her anywhere near where sick people congregate, especially to doctors’ offices.

Just kidding! He told us to keep our baby away from all our sick kids. That’s a tall order. Our kids have been waiting for months to express their love to their new sibling in very physical ways. I’m not sure how the new baby appreciates this love, but she’s getting it anyway.

New parents could try and schedule a birth for exactly the time when daylight saving time starts. That way they would be in a hospital for the change. Time does not exist in hospitals. Hospitals are like extremely fancy hotels, where the staff cares so much they check on you every 15 minutes both day and night. How thoughtful of them.

I have no idea how the nighttime hospital staff handles daylight saving time. They’d be working when the mysterious change happens. I guess that someone, somewhere is getting paid an hour that they never worked. But, considering that graveyard workers must have their internal clock thrown off even more than us daytime folks, they probably deserve to be paid and extra hour.

Our baby would fit right in with graveyard workers. She also fits right in with her brother and sisters by not wanting to sleep at nights. She did not get this trait from me. I can sleep anytime, anywhere. Of course, the reason she does not want to sleep is that she wants to eat all the time. Now that’s a trait that we share.

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