Cheap diapers and peanut butter monsters

Eight and a half years ago, in this very column, I shared my newfound parental wisdom by recommending parents only buy name-brand diapers and off-brand wipes. In fact, the title of the column was called “Buy expensive diapers, cheap wipes.”

Now, with a few more children and years of experience, I have to say we’ve gone full circle. We now just let our children run naked. It’s cheaper that way, and the house is already a mess.

Just kidding! No, now we only buy off-brand diapers and name-brand wipes. Why the change? Well, they kept messing with the quality of the name-brand diapers. You’d buy a box of diapers that would work good, and then the next box would not work nearly as well.

And name-brand diapers are a LOT more expensive than off-brand diapers. The only way I can see anyone buying those things is if people use their Corvette as collateral. After some experimentation, we found an off-brand diaper that we like, so that’s our go-to diaper brand now-a-days.

But expensive wipes aren’t all that more expensive then the cheap ones, and because they are thicker, you don’t need to use as many. So in the long run, it’s cheaper having expensive wipes than cheaper ones. After eight and a half years of parenthood, I wish that I could offer more advice, but that’s about it.

Over the last eight and a half years, there have been some great advances in baby paraphernalia, especially as it concerns baby clothing. Someone in the clothing industry must’ve read a column I wrote eight years ago called “Fitting into a tent is easier than snapping up baby clothes at 4 a.m.” In that column, I criticized just how many snaps are on baby clothing. Here, I’ll quote myself:

“There should be some sort of graph to show parents at 4 a.m. exactly how to snap up a baby’s outfit. No matter what, I end up with an extra snap at one end or the other.”

Now, most baby clothing comes with just one line of snaps down the jammies, not a line up each leg that joins in the middle. Genius! We can now sleep again at night. Literally.

But that isn’t the biggest change in raising a baby in the last eight years. The biggest change is that babies can now eat peanut butter. Back when we had our first baby, that was a big no-no. If your baby ate peanut butter, everyone was pretty sure they might die of a peanut allergy. But now, they’ve discovered that keeping peanut butter away from babies was what was causing the peanut allergies. There is some irony there.

Now, our baby has peanut butter mixed in with her baby cereal. Doctor’s orders. She sure doesn’t mind. She loves it. Now, though, if we are eating a peanut butter sandwich, and she smells that peanut butter, she gets really upset unless she gets some. This new policy might have made our baby a monster. A peanut butter monster. At least cleanup is easier with easy-on jammies and cheap diapers.

 

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