Baby can be a big handful


Our youngest, just under a year old, doesn’t just like to get into trouble. She is obsessed with it. I think we had to have all of our babies before her just so we would be prepared for this one.

If you tell her that she can’t do something, she responds back, “I accept your challenge, and will meet you on the battlefield.” Okay, so she only knows three or four words, but that is what her actions imply.

Take the bathroom for instance. The bathroom is off limits for the baby. We don’t know what she is going to stick in the toilet, or even worse, what she is going to stick in her mouth. I mean, I wouldn’t find a toilet brush a desirable thing to put in my mouth, but our baby must have mistaken it for a toothbrush.

This means that we now have a rule that our bathroom door is shut at all times. But she can hear it the moment it opens, and when she hears it, she comes running. Many babies aren’t even walking at this age, but ours is running. She knew that she couldn’t get into as much trouble if she stuck with crawling.

So she runs up to the door, only to have it slammed in her face. But that doesn’t stop a good baby. She sits there and slams on it until someone comes out, and then she rushes in.

The only way we could adequately baby proof our house is if we traded our house in for a padded room. We can’t just move all the non-baby items out of reach of the floor, because she is an expert climber. If she is left alone for more than a minute or two, she is on the kitchen table. We’ve long since given up on trying to keep all our books on the shelves.

She’s developing a certain set of skills that only lend themselves well to a few occupations, none of them being what I would call safe. I would guess that she either wants to be a mountain climber or a cat burglar when she grows up, from the way she acts around the house.

Of course, she doesn’t want to be inside the house at all. She knows that when she gets her diaper changed, she gets to go outside to throw it away. As soon as she has that diaper changed, she has it picked up and ready to go out. She is so helpful. However, it might be more helpful if she let us put another diaper on before taking the first diaper out.

The moment I put my coat on to go to work, she knows that I’m headed out the door. Immediately, she calls out “bye, bye” and then runs and gets her coat, or someone else’s coat, or a blanket, in the hopes that she can go too. She’s not even a teenager yet, and she wants to wipe the dust of the town off her feet.

Except that she can’t stand being in the car for more than a few minutes. And she’s extremely afraid of strangers. And, for goodness sake’s, she’s a baby, and has to stay home and cuddle once in a while. Thank goodness for once-in-a-while cuddles; it makes it all worth it. As for the rest of the time, she’s quite a handful.

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