Cupid, Chris Kringle, criminals

I’m surely I’m not the first one to think of this, but where do holiday stories come from? Parents obviously have to sugarcoat stories for us.

“Santa is coming in the morning to put presents under our tree!”

When in reality this is how I see it, “A stranger is going to break into our house and put who knows what under a tree. Why is there a tree in the house?!”

Any other day of the year I would get spanked or a “good talk” if I brought a tree into the house.

Cupid isn’t so innocent either.

“Cupid flies around with arrows of love and when you get hit, you fall in love with someone.”

This is how I see it, “A baby is flying around with heavy artillery, looking to puncture me with an arrow.”

Obviously if that’s how we told kids the stories, they wouldn’t want any part of these holidays. Houses would be ramsacked with boobie traps and kids would go to school wearing bulletproof vests.

I’m writing this Wednesday, Feb. 11, so forgive me for talking about Valentine’s Day a few days late. I’m still getting used to the Wednesday to Wednesday routine, which is when most of our subscribers get their paper.

Valentine’s Day for me has been an unusual holiday since all but maybe one year of my life I haven’t had a significant other. I would enjoy being home and getting candies and kisses from my mother. She has always been the best Valentine.

That’s all changing now that I do have a significant other. I get the pleasure of spending the weekend with her and her family in Mountain Home. We have reservations at a restaurant that will hopefully take my attention away from the hole burning in my wallet and focusing it on a beautiful date and wonderful food.

Mr. Crompton on the other hand seems to be taking the other route and making gifts for his girlfriend rather than buying her love. A jar full of post-it notes of memories and inside jokes. I might just have to change Mr. Crompton’s name to Dr. Smooth. This will probably embarrass him for a little bit, but he should know that guys everywhere are taking notes for next year.

It should be a wonderful weekend and I hope everyone enjoys it. I’m a sap so I go for this stuff. Some of my favorite movies are chick flicks. Thanks to my mom that’s all she would watch with us growing up. Ghost is atop the list for me. You just can’t beat Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore.

I would say I’m putting on the bulletproof vest with the rest of those kids… but the arrow has already hit me.

Adriana, will you be mine?

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